1. There is no caloric intake when beer and chocolate are combined. The calories in chocolate and those in beer counter and cancel each other out.
2. If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re obviously eating it too slowly.
3. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
4. Money talks. Chocolate sings.
5. Chocolates contain many preservatives. Preservatives help you live longer and make you look younger.
6. Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? A. Because no one wants to quit.
7. If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Wont they actually counteract each other?
8. Problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. Solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
9. If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
10. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?
11. If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?
12. Put “Eat chocolates” at the top of your list of things to do. That way you’ll at least get one thing done each day.
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